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Premature Ejaculation Last Longer

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Here is a simple exercise for lasting longer in bed: get comfortable. Relax your breath, notice each breath moving through the nostrils. Then after a few minutes, drop your breath awareness to the navel...

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About the Author

Mukee is an internationally renowned sexual healer and guide. She has trained as a surrogate partner therapist in the Western medical model for sexual healing, through the International Professional Surrogates Association. She also has a strong background in traditional tantric lineage through the Bihar School of Yoga, and has extensively studied North American shamanic practices relating to human sexuality.
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Lasting Longer Tonight

Lasting Longer: 5 Biggest Myths

Over the years I have seen a number of persistent misconceptions when it comes to stopping premature ejaculation and lasting longer in bed. I would like to address these and discuss the exact reasons why they are incorrect and misleading at best.

Lasting longer with numbing creams, sprays and extra condoms

This one is actually kind of funny, as it suggests prolonging sex by making it feel less like sex. Why even bother? Your partner doesn't want a human vibrator. Trust me, there's a time for toys and there's a time for a real live man. I don't want mine with extra layers of latex and dead nerve endings, thank you very much! When I have a man inside me I want to know he is feeling it! Plus, I've heard that that those numbing potions can affect the woman during sex. Imagine that, two people going through the motions without feeling it!

Lasting longer by distracting yourself

A lot of folklore about male sexual performance revolves around the idea of delaying orgasm by distracting yourself to last longer in bed. Thinking about your mother-in-law or sports, biting your cheek etc are all methods I have heard of or read about at some time or another. Turning off your arousal temporarily is not the same as mastering it. And again, if you only able to have sex by thinking about boring or distasteful things, how much fun is it going to be? This is a bad habit to get into. You don't want to train yourself to get bored and distracted when you are in the middle of hot lovin'. No woman is ever going to be interested in a man who can't focus on the matter at hand. Especially if she figures out you are thinking about your mother-in-law!

Masturbating before sex to last longer during

This is an interesting one. Remember that scene in 'Something About Mary' where he 'clears the pipes' before his big date to avoid seeming desperate. I have read that it is a good thing before sex to have a pre-emptive orgasm in order to delay the main event and last longer in bed when the time comes. I'd like to examine this a bit closer to see where this isn't helpful and maybe highlight when it is. Anxiety and stress about the impending sexual experience, thinking about the possibility of embarrassing yourself by coming too soon and focusing on the negatives of your sexual performance WHILE you masturbate is extremely unhelpful. Building a regime of this can be very damaging. It will have the effect of eroticising and reinforcing these aspects. You will associate orgasm even more with the stress and performance anxiety that is already a problem. However masturbating as part of a relaxed regime of self-pleasure and self-love can be very helpful. As long as your masturbation is not tied to your sexual performance it can be an enriching part of your sex life. In particular using self-pleasure to more fully explore your sexual arousal levels, orgasms, and control is the first step to deepening your awareness of sex and helping you last longer.

Lasting longer with muscle control

Some techniques are like shaolin kung-fu disciplines that prescribe pelvic floor exercises. The theory is that with enough muscle strength and control you can prevent ejaculation escaping. By catching it with intense muscle contractions! Pretty spectacular stuff hey? In reality it's a bit like shutting the gate after the horse has bolted. Wouldn't you rather devote your time to exercises that help you understand your arousal levels so you can control the orgasm beforehand, and not just the fluid after the fact. And by the way, from what I gather it's extremely difficult to achieve anyway.

Lasting longer with alcohol and drugs

Relying on alcohol or drugs before you initiate a sexual encounter is a definite no no. Alcohol ultimately depresses your nervous system. And so depresses your ability to feel and maintain an erection. It is certainly the last thing you want to rely on for great sex. It may seem that you might loosen up your inhibitions temporarily.

From the point of view of sexual stamina, forget it! And drugs - recreational or therapeutic. Some may give the illusion of increased sexual performance and lasting longer in bed. But ultimately it is your level of awareness, your level of consciousness, your level of presence as a man that makes all the difference. I don't want you to think I'm a complete prude. This stuff isn't terrible in and of itself. I like the odd glass of champagne as much as the next girl. But my point is this. Using any or all of these techniques as the basis of your premature ejaculation cure will fail. It could actually make the situation worse. Relying on these things will lead you further from your true goal of sexual mastery and control of your orgasms!

The only way to become a master of your sexuality is to go deeper into your sexual experiences, not further away. Learn about your body and orgasmic arousal by focusing on them. Don't shut your sexuality down in the quest for the 'appearance' of sexual mastery. Learn how to actually last longer in bed while being present. A man with a numb penis, thinking about sports, thrusting for an hour, is about as far from a master as you can get.

Interested in a better way to last longer in bed - naturally and without the silliness?

Learn more about Lasting Longer in Bed